


Breaking Blues

by Chronos_X



Series: Headcanons (2016-) [8]
Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X, Rockman | Mega Man Classic
Genre: F/M, Funny, I have too much time on my hands, Parody, Protoman's a jerk, SpongeBob Parody, SpongeBob SquarePants References, Zero's a "cheating" bastard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22926925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chronos_X/pseuds/Chronos_X
Summary: Also available at https://www.deviantart.com/chronos-x/art/Breaking-Blues-612301312.  Inspired by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uIWSvSySvg.Dragon Ball Super: Twilight of Gods I - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1466320
Relationships: Blues | Proto Man/Original Female Character(s), Zero (Rockman) & Original Character(s)
Series: Headcanons (2016-) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635487





	Breaking Blues

Breaking Blues, by Chronos-X

May 31, 2016, 12:29:20 AM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Humor

( _Breakman warps into his home_ ).

????: Hi, honey. Finally got a job or somethin'?  
  
Blues: Can it, Computer Wife! I had the worst day ever!  
  
Computer Wife: So you wasted another day wangsting about daddy issues... dinner's on the table.  
  
Blues ( _uncovers the plate_ ): Holographic meatloaf... _oh joy_... ( _Grabs a knife and fork, cuts into the hologram, chews without removing his mouth piece_ ).  
  
CW: Everyday the same thing: you leave in the wee hours of the morning and go around telling your sob story to any schmuck who will listen... not like they have a choice.  
  
Blues ( _swallows_ ): Damn it, Karen! Would it kill you to _not_ nag me for five stinking minutes!? Can't I have some bloody peace and quiet in my own house!?  
  
CW: _You_ don't have any peace? _I'm_ the one who can't go five seconds without you breaking down and sobbing all over my motherboard when you're not shooting at people who haven't done anything to you! Figured they called you "Breakman" for a reason...  
  
Blues ( _visibly wounded_ ): That's cold, Karen...  
  
CW: You wanna know what's really cold? ( _Nags for about an hour and a half_ ). ...so you should just test your life-switching machine, see what things are like for Rock and Roll, and man the f$%^ up!  
  
Blues: You know what? You're right. I'm gonna do just that. What could possibly go wrong?  
  
CW: Well, you could end up so mentally scarred that my holographic meatloaf will look like caviar compared to whatever horribleness you see, and...  
  
Blues ( _covers his ears_ ): Not listening! Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... ( _Gets up and leaves_ ).  
  
CW: Reverse psychology. Works every time. ( _Waits around a minute and a half_ ). He's gone. You can come out now.  
  
????: Finally! I thought he'd never leave. ( _A red, blond-haired figure crawls from underneath the dining room table: it's Zero, from Mega Man X_ ). That husband of yours is a world-class jerk.  
  
CW ( _chuckles_ ): You're preaching to the choir here, sweetie. I've long since stopped caring about what Blues says or doesn't say.  
  
Zero ( _puts his arm around CW's shoulders_ ): What do you say we fix that? The toys are all set, and I'm raring to go...  
  
CW ( _leans as if to kiss him_ ): Oh, Zero... ( _Another brief pause_ ). I got the welding torch!  
  
Zero: I call the nail gun! This'll be _the_ best birdhouse-slash-homoneurotic topiary ever!  
  
CW ( _chuckles_ ): You mean "Bird Pagoda." Shame you had to ditch X, though: it's _his_ design, after all.  
  
Zero ( _scowls_ ): That was kinda the point, Karen. He's going through that yearly whining-about-my-life s$%t again, and don't even get me started on Iris. I'd rather fight a billion Sigmas one after another, both hands tied behind my back, than listen to another second of... ( _Mimics an annoying, quasi-girly whiny tone_ ) "Why do Reploids have to kill each other?", "Why do humans and Reploids have to fight one another?", or ( _Mimics a shrill, girly tone in a fake British accent_ ) "Please, Zero, don't fight my brother!", or "Let's live together in a world just for Reploids." Hell, at this point I'd sooner book a 24 hour-long flight to the middle of nowhere seated next to a wailing baby the whole way through than listen to them whine about first world problems!  
  
CW: Wow... good thing we found each other.  
  
Zero ( _smiles candidly_ ): And the best part is, nobody will ever know. ( _Both of them laugh themselves silly, go off to do who knows what, who knows where..._ ).


End file.
